How Do You Solve a Problem Like Sophia?

How do you solve a problem like Sophia?

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?

How do you find a word that means Sophia?

A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the whisp! A clown!

Many a things you know you'd like to tell her.

Many a thing she ought to understand

But how do you make her stay

And listen to all you say

How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Sophia?

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

When I'm with her I'm confused

Out of focus and bemused

And I never know exactly where I am

Unpredictable as weather

She's as flighty as a feather

She's a darling! She's a demon! She's a lamb!

She'd out pester any pest

Drive a hornet from its nest

She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl

She is gentle! She is wild!

She's a riddle! She's a child!

She's a headache! She's an angel!

She's a girl!

Never has this song from The Sound of Music made more sense to me than it does today. Sophia has always had a strong will. I loved that about her and I still do...sort of. A few weeks ago my husband and I tried to take Sophia for a walk. We wanted to go straight and she wanted to go left. After several minutes of her refusing to come with us we picked her up and carried her (thrashing and yelling) two blocks before setting her down to continue our walk. What did Sophia do? That stinker ran back to the spot where she had wanted to go left and ran left. We repeated this same scenario three times before giving up and going home. Not the fun family outing we had imagined.

Yesterday we took Sophia and I out for another walk after dinner. It was a beautiful night in the 50s and when we made it past the above mentioned crossing without a hitch we were confident we'd have a pleasant stroll. Everything was going well until Sophia decided to cross the street. "No Sophia," I said. "We're staying on this side of the street today." Those words set off a little switch in Sophia's brain where the ONLY thing she now wanted to do was to run into the street. David picked her up and carried her back into the grass and she'd run right towards the street again...and again...and again...and again. Finally we carried her almost to our door and set her down. Sophia promptly began walking away. "Sophia! We're going inside now," I said to her. She turned, looked at me, smiled, and walked away. All of the sudden I heard myself say something I had never imagined would come out of my mouth, "Well, Mommy and Daddy are going inside so have fun." Frustrated I walked up to where David was by the door, opened it, and turned to see her response. S-l-o-w-l-y she began to shuffle, YES SHUFFLE, towards us. Upon stopping to look back at the road again, David uttered the words I was dreading and Sophia was just waiting to hear, "Don't go back to the street Sophia." With that challenge being set she yelled the word "NO," (which she has NEVER said before) and took off running again, full toddler speed, to the street. After getting her inside and directly putting her to bed, David and I were exhausted...and clueless. What are we supposed to about her?

Well, today was the last straw for me. I decided with the beautiful 60 degree day we are having here in Chicago to take Sophia to the zoo. I brought the stroller just in case I couldn't keep up with my little girl and off we went. Content to follow her lead through the zoo we wandered happily around. Then disaster struck. One of the entrances to the barn was roped off due to them doing some electrical work. No big deal, Sophia hates the barn anyway. "Well, looks like we can't go into the barn today," I cheerfully said. Oh what a fool I am. Sophia, who was happily headed off towards the horse, stopped, looked at the barn, and ran over to it. You've got to be kidding. I then spent the next 10 minutes picking her up, carrying her away, and her running back to THE ONE SPOT she couldn't go. I strapped her crying into her stroller (yes, we were THOSE people today) and headed off to distract her with something else. After she settled down I thought I'd let her out, far away from the barn, so she could walk around and hopefully burn off some energy. She burned it off alright, heading straight for that stupid barn!!! Push over mommy caught her, put her in her stroller (crying), headed to another part of the zoo, took her out, and chased her down as she ran to the barn FOUR MORE TIMES. Yes, we spent a delightful hour and a half playing this game before I finally caught on that she would ALWAYS find the barn and I would ALWAYS be chasing her.

Long story short, well not that short, I have a very stubborn little girl on my hands. I know she's young, but she's not so young that she doesn't know exactly what she's doing. I guess it's time for me to get some parenting books and have some obedience conversations with my friends and my mother. Heaven knows she had to go through this all with me.

A Lament

I'm about one bad night away from being the heroine of a Kate Chopin novel. Today I realized I haven't spent a night away from Sophia since she was born. Besides a five month stint when Sophia was sleeping through the night, I have been awoken every night for the last 15 months. I make five meals a day: breakfast for David at six and for Sophia and I at 7:45-lunch-dinner for Sophia and I at 5 and again for David at 7:30. One month I counted how many times I ran the dish washer (38) and how many loads of laundry I did (20). I see David for about 3 1/2 hours a day and yet I feel like I don't have a right to mind because atleast he has a job. I want to be a stay at home mom and I'm SO fortunate I can be! I know there are larger problems going on in the world right now and I sound like a whiny housewife but...I guess tonight I am. I'm tired. I'm burnt out. I need a minute to myself to get my head on straight, to get some sleep, and to get centered again on what's really important. This lament being written-I'm going to sleep...at least until Sophia, a dog, or an active Baby David wake me up again.

A Week's Worth of Dinner Ideas

I love cooking, although admittingly I do more creative meals some weeks than others. After perusing through some Cooking Light magazines, I was immediately tempted by the delicious recipes gracing their pages. Hopefully one or two of these recipes will look as good to you as they tasted to my family.

Monday: Chicken Enchilada Casserole

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts

1/3 cup chopped cilantro

1 cup frozen corn kernels, thawed

1/3 cup 1/3-less-fat cream cheese, softened

1/2tsp ground red pepper

1/2tsp ground cumin

1/4tsp salt

1/4tsp black pepper

2 cups chopped onion, divided

6 garlic cloves, minced and divided

1 cup fat-free, lower-sodium chicken broth

/3 cup salsa verde

1/4 cup water

9 (6-inch) corn tortillas

1/4 cup (or more=) shredded sharp cheddar cheese

1. Preheat oven to 425

2. Saute chicken and shred when cooked through. Place in bowl. Add 1 1/2 tablespoons cilantro, corn, and next 5 ingredients (through black pepper) to chicken; toss to combine.

3. Return pan to medium-high heat. Add 1/2 cups onion; saute 5 minutes. Add 3 garlic cloves; saute 30 seconds. Add onion mixture to chicken mixture; stir to combine.

4. Combine remaining 1 1/2 cups onion, remaining 3 garlic cloves, broth, salsa, water in pan over medium heat; bring to boil. Reduce heat, and simmer 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat; let stand 10 minutes. Pour mixture into blender; add 2 tablespoons cilantro, Process 'till smooth.

5. Heat tortillas in pan and cut into quarters.

6. Spread 1/2 cup salsa mixture in the bottom of an 8in glass baking dish coated with cooking spray. Arrange 12 tortilla quarters over salsa mixture. Spoon 1/2 of chicken mixture over tortillas. Repeat layers, ending with tortillas. Pour remaining salsa mixture over tortillas; sprinkle evenly with cheese. Bake for 15minutes or until bubbly and lightly browned. Top with remaining cilantro. MMMMM.

Tuesday: Sausage, Tomato, and Arugula Fettuccine

9 ounces fettuccine

1 tablespoon olive oil

6 ounces Italian turkey sausage

2 teaspoons minced garlic

1 pint cherry tomatoes

1/4tsp salt

1/4tsp fresh ground black pepper

3 cups baby arugula leaves

2 ounces (or more...I love cheese) Romano cheese, shaved

1. Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain in colander over a bowl reserving 2/3cup cooking liquid.

2. While pasta cooks, heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Remove casing from sausage. Break sausage into bite sized pieces and add to pan; cook 3 minutes or until browned, stirring frequently to crumble. Add garlic; cook 30 seconds, stirring constantly. Add tomatoes, salt, and pepper; cover and cook 2 minutes. Mash tomatoes with the back of a wooden spoon to break them up. Cover pan; reduce heat to low, and cook 3 minutes. Remove pan from heat. Add pasta, reserved 2/3cup cooking liquid, and arugula; toss well. Sprinkle with cheese.

Wednesday: Taco Soup (recipe from my mom-not Cooking Light)

3 (28 ounce) cans diced tomatoes

1-1.5lbs hot Italian turkey sausage out of skin

1 large sweet onion, chopped
1 package Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing mix powder

1 package McCormick Taco Seasoning

2 (16 ounce) cans red kidney beans plus juice

1 (16 ounce) can pinto beans plus juice

Chopped garlic

Cilantro

Corn, Chopped carrots, Chopped celery (not sure how much I put in...I just do it 'till it looks right. It's an easy way to add extra veggies for Soph.)

Cheese

Brown meat and onion in a large pot. Add all other ingredients and simmer for about an hour to blend the flavors. Serve and sprinkle each bowl with cheese. (This makes a lot so I always have a couple extra meals worth to freeze.)

Thursday: Almost Classic Pork Fried Rice

2 tablespoons peanut (or olive) oil, divided
1/2 tsp salt, divided
1/2lb boneless pork loin chop, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1/2 cup chopped carrot
1/2 cup chopped celery
1/2 cup chopped green onion bottoms (white part)
1 cup chopped green onion tops
2 tablespoons minced garlic
2 tablespoons minced peeled fresh ginger
3 cups cooked, chilled long-grain brown rice (or basmati)
1 large egg
3 tablespoons mirin (it's a sweet rice wine)
3 tablespoons lower-sodium soy sauce
1 tsp dark sesame oil
1/4tsp freshly ground black pepper
2 cups fresh bean sprouts (LOVE)
1/4 cup canned diced water chestnuts, rinsed and drained


1. Heat large skillet over medium heat. Add 1 tablespoon peanut oil to pan, swirling to coat. Sprinkle 1/8 tsp salt over pork. Add pork to pan, and saute for 2 minutes or until browned on all sides. Remove pork from pan. Add carrot and celery to pan, and saute for 2 minutes or until lightly browned. Add carrot mixture to the pork.

2. Add remaining 1 tablespoon peanut oil to pan, swirling to coat. Stir in green onion bottoms, garlic, and ginger; cook for 15 seconds stirring constantly. Add rice, stirring well to coat rice with oil; cook, without stirring, for 2 minutes or until edges begin to brown. Stir rice mixture, and cook, without stirring, an additional 2 minutes or until edges begin to brown. Make a well in the center of the rice mixture. Add egg; stir-fry for 30 seconds or until soft-scrambled, stirring constantly.

3. Return the pork mixture to pan. Stir in mirin, and cook for 1 minute or until it's absorbed. Stir in remaining 3/8tsp salt, soy sauce, sesame oil, and pepper. Remove from heat and stir in bean sprouts and water chestnuts. Sprinkle with green onion tops. Super flavorful and easy!

Friday: Cheesy Meat Loaf Minis

1/2 cup bread crumbs
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 cup ketchup, divided
3 ounces mozzarella cheese, diced
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
1 tablespoon dried oregano
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1 1/2 lbs ground sirloin
1 large egg, lightly beaten

1. Preheat oven to 425.

2. Heat skillet over medium-high heat. Coat pan with cooking spray. Add onion and garlic; saute 3 minutes. Combine onion mixture, breadcrumbs, 1/4 cup ketchup, and remaining ingredients. Shape into 6 (4x2-inch) loaves on a broiler pan coated with cooking spray; spread 2 tsp ketchup over each. Bake for 25minutes or until done. (Big favorite of Sophia's!)

Saturday: Beef Daube Provencal

2 teaspoons olive oil
12 garlic cloves, crushed (yum, yum, yum)
1 (2lb) boneless chuck roast, trimmed and cut into 2-inch cubes
1 1/2 tsp salt, divided
1/2tsp freshly ground black pepper, divided
1 cup red wine
2 cups chopped carrot
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
1/2cup low-sodium beef broth
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary (or just used dried)
1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme
Dash of ground cloves
1 (14 1/2 ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 bay leaf
3 cups cooked medium egg noodles (about 4 cups uncooked noodles)

Heat oil in pan over low heat. Add garlic; cook 5 minutes or until garlic is fragrant. Remove garlic and add to slow cooker. Increase heat under pan to medium-high. Add beef; sprinkle with 1/2tsp salt and 1/4tsp pepper. Cook 5 minutes, browning on all sides. Add to slow cooker. Add wine to pan; bring to a boil, scraping pan to loosen browned bits. Add garlic, 1 tsp salt, 1/4tsp pepper, carrot, and net 8 ingredients (through bay leaf), and bring to a boil. Add to slow cooker. Cover and cook on high for 5 hours. Discard bay leaf and serve over noodles. (This is one of our new favorites and I can't wait to make/eat it again!!!)


Sunday: Tell hubby I need a break from cooking and heat up a frozen pizza, get subs, pick up sushi from Whole Foods, or something else that requires little or no effort on my part. (It's a day of rest after all.)

Our Day in Pictures

Sometimes when David asks what I've done that day I can't remember. As a result, I thought I'd take pictures to show him a typical "staying in on a cold winter day" day. Thought I'd share.

5:30 Get up with David. (Well....some of us do.)

7:30 Books before breakfast

8:00 Eggs, potato, and ketchup

8:30 Clean Up

8:45 Stare wistfully out of window wishing it was Spring.

9:00 Super Why time! (Which thankfully corresponds to needing to let the dogs out.)

9:30 Rock out to Dynamite. (She heard it on the Today show once and fell in love with it.)

10:00 Take care of her baby

**(11:00 is lunch...we had leftover Lou Malnati's spinach pizza.)**

12:00 Nap time

2:00 Time to get up! (Sometimes we wake up too early.)

2:20 Decide if Mommy's shoes are worth taking.

3:00 Do our phonics and alphabet flash cards.

3:45 Read

5:00 Eat dinner. (We had pasta with vodka sauce and apple sauce-which was fun to play with after she was full.)

5:30 Oatmeal bath with a good book is very relaxing.

6:00 Help Mommy put in a load of laundry.

6:30 Snuggle time with a good movie before bed.

**7:15 Bed (Soph takes bedtime very seriously so no pictures were taken...I'm no fool to jinx a 7:15 bedtime!)**

(Also insert 2 dirty diapers, a few wet diapers, outfit change do to messy eating, and a few cups of coffee for mommy.)

Then I get to clean up before David gets home. Do laundry. Spend an hour or two with hubby. Crash.

My Steak de Provence Improvisation

Sometimes the best things in life are unplanned. Dinner tonight was definitely an example of this. I had a stocked fridge and pantry but zero inspiration. Since Sophia and I had had pizza and chicken nuggets the previous two nights, and the husband was actually going to be home for dinner, I figured I'd better make something half-way decent. I remembered eating a sandwich while in France a few years back and thought I'd try to recreate it. The end result was even better than I remembered.

Steak de Provence

steak

baguette

lettuce

tomato

onion (I love onions but if you're planning a romantic night you might want to leave this part out=)

brie cheese (I know, I shouldn't eat it when I'm pregnant.)

basil (I had fresh but dried is fine if it's what you have.)

dried oregano, garlic, parsley to taste

olive oil

balsamic

Fire up the grill. Thinly slice the onion and place on tin foil. Drizzle with olive oil and dried herbs and wrap tightly. Place on the grill. Season the steak with salt and pepper and grill to the temp you prefer. (I like it blue personally but David makes me eat it rare.) Slice the baguette length wise and pull out the soft inside of the bread. Mix the brie with the balsamic oil, chopped basil, and dried herbs. Spread liberally on both sides of the bread. Place it on the grill (crust side down) until toasted. In the meantime, chop the lettuce and tomato and mix with a little olive oil, balsamic and herbs. Add onions (if you made them) to the toasted bread. Thinly slice the steak and add to sandwich. Top it all off with the lettuce and tomato. Oh so good.

The Times are a Changing

Day 2 of Mean Mommy is in effect. It's not really me being mean, although it feels that way to me, more so me trying to teach Sophia to be her own person. Baby #2 is due May 12th (or 17th if you go by the old due date...not that I'm sure he much cares what the doctors have told me) and I'm hoping Sophia will be a little more independent by then. Sophia has always been sensitive and shy, and since I am both I've been very understanding of this...perhaps too much so. When she was little if she only wanted me to hold her, only I held her. If she didn't like going to the nursery at church, I didn't put her in the nursery. Whether it was me being caring or coddling I'm not sure, probably a mixture of both, but it needed to change.

Sophia also doesn't like talking. Every now and then she comes out with a word but it's rare. I know she can speak, but she doesn't want to...or have to. I have arranged our days and my availability to her in such a way that she has absolutely no need to ever speak. We eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner close to the same time every day. When she's up for the morning I grab her orange juice from the fridge and hand it to her. When I can tell she needs a snack, I give her one. Never does she have to actually ASK me for anything because I just preemptively do it all to make the day go smoothly. End result: Smooth days and no talking from Soph.

My husband, ever the teacher, is always checking up on her cognitive development and making sure she's meeting the "standards" but her not excelling in this area has little to do with her ability and more, I'm sorry to admit, with my parenting. I told my husband the story of a relative of mine who didn't know how to pump gas 'till he was in college. His parents either drove him or the family driver took him where he needed to go. Was he cognitively unable to grasp how to pump gas? No. His family had made it such that he never needed to think about it. I have followed in these well meaning footsteps.

Yesterday I began making a few changes. Sophia doesn't automatically get food or snacks, she needs to ask for them. This hasn't been the most fun for her but she's starting to get the idea. Sophia has to help me get her diapers and pick our her clothes. (She seems to share Helena Bonham Carter's sense of fashion.) I make our meals around the same time still, but she must come over to the table and eat, I won't pick her up and bring her. I also am making her use silver wear and dishes. She is plenty old enough to figure it out and you know what? She does just fine. That's just the tip of the ice burg and probably every other mom has been doing these things forever but it's a big step for me, and for Sophia. We're both still figuring out what being a mother and daughter means but that's the thing with parent/child relationships...they're dynamic and ever evolving. I'm just trying to keep up with the times.

Stress

There are a whole slew of things that would stress me out about adding another baby to our family if I let them. A few years ago I learned a useful tip on how to deal with stressful situations that seem to pile up on me. I take all of the stressers and put them in an imaginary box in my mind (or write them down and actually put them in a box). When I'm feeling relaxed, I take one situation at a time and think of how I can best handle it. Not only has it helped me not feel so overwhelmed, but it's made me actually deal with situations and not just let them stress me out. Right now I have a whole list of things I'm working on figuring out...

1. I'm stressed that I wont have enough time to spend with Sophia when Baby David arrives and she wont feel loved anymore.

2. I'm stressed that David will feel even more stressed trying to juggle working, grad school, being a husband, and being a father...plus his 45min+ commute each way.

3. I'm stressed about how much weight I've gained...which is annoying because I'm the one doing it to myself. (I know I'll be able to lose it but I'm still annoyed at myself.)

4. I'm stressed that there's something wrong with Baby David.

5. I'm stressed trying to figure out how I'm going to let out 2 dogs multiple times a day while somehow keeping an eye on Soph and Baby David.

6. I'm stressed about how Sophia will deal with me breastfeeding Baby David. She's great at sharing everything but her mom.

7. I'm stressed that I'm not going to be a good wife to David. Sometimes I let our marriage go on autopilot because there's so many other things to think about and, while it's nice we can do this, our relationship has to be a priority too.

8. I'm stressed I'm going to be too tired to be a good mom to either child.

9. I'm stressed my house will fall into total disrepair.

Well...that about sums it up. I'm reminded of a line from Tender Is The Night that says, "I am a woman and my business is to hold things together." So true. All prayers and words of advice are much appreciated.